Almost as quick as Lance Armstrong’s Tour De France times, as quick as his denials of drug cheating and certainly as quick as Livestrong’s profit rises, the release of the Lance Armstrong doping app on the Google Play app store comes less than a day after the disgraced champion cyclist bared all to Oprah Winfrey (the interview has yet to screen) – a truly modern American cliche.
The App itself is worth downloading simply for an unhealthy dose of Schadenfreude. While we have homegrown heroes such as Bradley Wiggins and Nicole Cooke (see her wonderfully vicious attack on Armstrong here), it appears that cycling in the USA has finally been confirmed as absolutely rotten to the core.
We aren’t talking about a high quality app here, but it is a surprisingly efficient collator of all things Livestrong – as well as a hilariously amateur sketch of Armstrong’s face with the words ‘Dope’ written underneath, it features a neat little news feeder summarising the faux-surprise of the journalistic community, alongside links to Armstrong’s Twitter (featuring misquotes such as “its 2013 right? Reading about 2002 is bullshit IMO” – which while referring to an athlete’s affair, could easily be applied to Armstrong himself).
Of course his Facebook page still refers to the cyclist as a 7-time Tour De France winner (I wonder what the legalities are there?).
For all those die-hard Armstrong fans (yes, they still exist on an epic scale, indulging in that other great American tradition – the conspiracy theory), its time to sit back and perhaps listen to The Stranglers’ ‘No More Heroes’.