There’s plenty of terrible iOS apps out there, but how many of them are completely useless? What Mobile has found five which will waste your life…
Going through the Apple App Store, there’s a lot of garbage on there. Pages and pages of apps with terrible reviews make up a large majority, though it’s actually quite hard to find legitimately crap applications. Digging a bit deeper, not only did we find a lot of defunct apps, we also found some very bizarre, useless and time wasting apps. Some were so mundane that they were actually compelling. They were so boring that it was interesting…
Without wasting anymore of your precious time, let’s look at the five apps that will completely waste your life instead.
Jurassic Paint
Jurassic Paint is not for animal lovers, not for dinosaur lovers, not for photo manipulators… not for anyone really. Frankly, we do not understand this app one bit. You start by taking photo of a person or object. Then you select a dinosaur and insert it into the photo.
Note that you are not swapping faces of the person with the dinosaur or using some other ultra-cool effect. You are just adding a dinosaur clipart in the same picture you just took. That is all. On the bright side you can add a speech bubble and make the dinosaur or the person say whatever you want, but even that features cannot uplift the uselessness of this app. We have Snapchat for this folks.
Keep Touching
There are applications which offer innovative features and then there’s apps such as this. It wants to be an addictive mini game but fails due to over simplicity. Essentially, a giant dot appears when you touch the screen. It then asks you to keep touching the screen as said dot moves around. The speed is constant and the dot doesn’t get any smaller, so it’s very linear. We must admit that in the beginning when you have to follow the dot around, it seems slightly compelling. Fast forward five minutes later when you’re still doing exactly the same thing and it suddenly becomes apparent how lame and boring this is.
On the positive side, it gives our index finger (or whichever finger you touch the screen with) a great deal of exercise.
With all the innovation currently going around in the app world, why would someone create something like this?
Useless
Our next app is literally called useless. Top marks for honesty. We almost took this app out of this list because ironically, it’s not as useless and dull as some of the other entries. When you first open the app it says “show me the useless – please”, then you press the button and hey presto… lots of useless things start to happen! One screen shows a bird is flying and you see how many meters it has flown. On another there is various color changing backgrounds that alternate every time you tap. There is no points, no competition, nothing going on – just useless and random stuff.
When you finally run out of the pages, it literally tells you to go outside and do some meaningful stuff! Presumably because you’ve just wasted time on this useless application.
Trump Yo’Self
This app is exactly what you think it is; an homage to American fan favourite President Donald Trump and his flowing golden locks. When you initially download and open it, you are asked to take a picture of yourself or a friend. Then you are provided with a selection of Trump’s various hair styles and color variations. Note: these are all pictures of his actual hair taken from various photos and you can paste it on your head to look like the gorgeous president. That’s pretty much it. If you’ve always dreamed of wearing his toupee, we suppose there’s some legitimate use here.
It can be fun, but it’s also a bit crap – should we take this app out of this list? Let us know in the comment section below.
Tweezer
Tweezer lets you, you guessed it, tweeze hair by tapping your finger on the screen. The screen continues to move while you see a clipart of a single rooted hair – and you tweeze it. This could be strangely satisfying, if it wasn’t for the fact that it’s so easy. You won’t be pulling hairs Fruit Ninja style at all, you’ll be doing it in the most boring and unimaginative way possible.
Tip: The trick is to tweeze it from the bottom not halfway or top, right at the bottom and it will count as success. You are given a set of 10 hair to tweeze in a round and you have to make sure you get most of them, if not all. *SIGH*
Know any other terrible Apple App Store applications that will waste your life? Let us know in the comments below!